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At the same time, fetishizing someone for their interests doesn’t help either; just because you’re both geeks doesn’t mean that you’re actually compatible.Compatibility goes beyond the surface; it’s about how well your mesh up.They make the mistake of trying to trade on the ambiguousness of the situation – a Schrödinger’s Date, where it is both platonic and sexual at the same time, so long as nobody actually tries to put a label on things and collapses the waveform.

The situation becomes too ambiguous and hard to read and your date is left wondering whether you’re into her or not.Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that the answer to avoiding getting ghosted is to have a defining-the-relationship talk by the third date.But if you’re looking to avoid having people fade away, then you need to make sure that they’re looking for the same things out of a relationship as you’re out with them.This can often trump compatibility; after all, it doesn’t matter that the two of you get on like a house on fire if what you’re looking for in a relationship is diametrically opposed to what the other person wants.Yeah, you’re great together, you make each other laugh and the two of you give off enough sparks to make it dangerous for you to visit gas stations together, but one of you is looking for a no-strings-attached, friends-with-benefits situation and the other is looking for someone to settle down with.

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